Okay, so Nadia (a very very good friend had given this link on her webpage ... www.insanityworks.org ... the link is http://www.rabbitblog.com/ and the woman who writes this blog is mainly a TV critic... hilarious blog!

An excerpt: (very REAL and right now in my life...very apt)

Dear Naysayer,

I understand, wise honky. The problem is, guys in their 20s and 30s have a habit of going out with women for as long as is convenient, regardless of their feelings. Many guys fall out of love (if they were ever in love) but don't have the rocks or the will to move on, even though they know the relationship isn't one that they want to last. Once a woman has gone through this a few dozen times, she gets a little more stringent in her demands.Honky girl asks how committed honky boy is, honky boy offers wishy washy reassurance, buys himself another 3 months - or, if honky girl has bad PMS, another month. The truth is that, wherever love is on honky girl's priority list, she may really, really not want to date Yet Another Wishy Washy Guy Who Doesn't Know What The Fuck He Wants Or Who Is Only Mildly Interested In Her. Let me repeat: Her desire to go out with someone who's enthusiastic and passionate about her does not necessarily reflect her absurdly fucked up and skewed priorities, it may simply reflect her desire to live a full, romantic exciting life filled with intimacy and the company of someone who thinks she's swell. Yes, she may say things like We. Must. Make. This. Relationship. Work. Or. Else., but that's just because she knows the guy's not in the game, and she's in the Angry Phase, a necessary step that comes right before Moving On.Is love too high on honky girl's priority list? Well, that depends. If she's 18 or 22 or 26 and she's obsessed with marriage, I'd say it's probably a little too high - but that's my call, and it's really up to her. Love was way, way too high on my priority list when I was younger, but what can you do? It was an escapist thing - I wasn't sure what else in life was worth getting riled up about. On the other hand, being 32-39 years old and being focused on finding the right guy, the one who's interested in starting a family or whatever else, is not remotely tweaked or odd or screwy to me. I mean, if you want to bear offspring before you're 40, then you have to get serious about this shit in your 30s. It's important to keep in mind that adoption and a million other options are available to you, and that (this is my personal slant) buying a house and adopting a dog and focusing on your own shit are all ways of having a good, full life without waiting for the holy grail of marriage to make your life look "right." In fact, I want to strongly recommend that single women in the 30s consider saving to buy a house - maybe when the current real estate bubble bursts a little, they'll have enough for a down payment. You can often get by with putting down just 5 percent, if your credit is good. If you need to get a roommate to afford it, get a roommate.But back to the matter at hand: Settling down is going to be important to lots of us, because it just is. We're fucking women, for chrissakes. Personally, I would love to be the woman who wants to travel and paint and cook and have a steady flow of lover boys. Yeah! But that's not me. I'm fucking jealous of those women, and I believe them when they say they don't give a fuck about marriage or kids. Hurray for them, they rock, I want to be them. But I'm not them. I like the idea of a family, plus a few dogs. As a result, I've been a hardass about relationships since I was about 29. I don't want to waste my time on someone who's not right for me, or who isn't completely into it. Oh, I have wasted my time, don't get me wrong - I just try very hard to move on quickly ("quickly" meaning "after 2 years" in most cases). Is that lame? What's lame about making sure that you get what you want from life? Why should anyone be embarrassed about going after what they want, whether it's big fake tits or a house by the shore or a hot fireman (I know, redundant)? What's embarrassing is shuffling around, living some mediocre, half-assed existence where you don't have what you want and you complain about it constantly, or you don't have what you want but you pretend it's just fine, or it'll do for now, or we all have to compromise in one way or another, or maybe it'll get better next week. Whether it means moving to another city or dumping your boyfriend or hiring a better couples' therapist to work things out with your wife, admirable actions are those that move people closer to the lives they want. And even though I would, if I could, go back and change my priorities when I was younger, even though I would shake myself and say, "You don't need to base this decision on HIM - he'll be gone in 6 months! Do what YOU want to do!" I suspect that I wouldn't listen to me anyway. Lots of women care a lot about relationships a little more than is perfectly healthy. They just do. All the women I know care a LOT about love. It's not something that's easy to change, and look, the women I know who are really happy are the ones who've acted in accordance with their desires, who have been honest about what they want, without shame. Here's the other thing: It's hard to get a life when you're with someone who's wishy washy about you. If you have to tell your girlfriend to get a life, chances are that should include getting rid of you. Why don't you do her a favor and break up with her instead? She's obviously not earning your respect, with all her focus on relationships and not enough focus on her own thing. She'll probably only straighten things out once she's free from the blah feelings that accompany being with someone who's on the fence. I get your point, Naysayer, I really do. I just keep thinking about the women out there who care a lot about love and can't find men who feel the same way. That gets under my skin. I want those women to make themselves happy and everything, sure, I want them to paint and travel and save money and have great friends and all that stuff, but I also want them to find love, because love is the best. Maybe those are my skewed priorities talking. So be it, honkwinders. I stand before you a deeply flawed motherfucker.

Rabbit